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How To Get Your Groom Involved In Planning

running groomThe following is an article that originally appeared in Modern Bride magazine written by Michael Arnot, founder of

It probably won’t come as much of a surprise to you that your fiancé, the prospective groom, has decidedly not been dreaming of a perfect wedding since he was a toddler. The good news is that your fiancé has been dreaming of a perfect match, and by virtue of his marriage proposal to you, he has signaled that you’re “the One.” However, to bridge the divide between a perfect match and a perfect wedding, your fiancé will need to be coached. And to use a sports metaphor, you’re the coach, and your fiancé is a player on the team—the most important and underrated player. What follows will help you coach your groom-to-be. It was written by me, Michael Arnot—a married guy, a former groom and the founder of Groom Groove, the leading wedding and engagement Web site for men.

Define His Duties
To get your groom involved in wedding planning without even really trying, the first thing you should do is define the tasks you’d like your fiancé to tackle and make your expectations clear. Believe it or not, if your fiancé has a number of defined tasks, he’ll make sure to get them done right, if for no other reason than to impress you (and your mother). Think of it as a grocery list.

Let Him Execute
Once you’ve outlined a list of potential tasks for your fiancé to tackle, you should give him free rein to execute and plan. For example, consider the myriad wedding transportation options available and assume that’s one of the tasks he’d enjoy planning (hint, hint). Your trusty fiancé will figure out what kind of transportation is needed and when, as well as realistic options for your wedding. Trust him to get it right (and to make the required cash deposit, for example).

One Important Task
One task that brides often want a say in is getting the best man and groomsmen organized for wedding day. Whether it’s because you’re worried if the guys will deliver or because you’ve got your own ideas about the color of their ties and cummerbunds, organizing the groomsmen is ripe for delegating to your fiancé. There is more to do than getting the groomsmen fitted for tuxedos. The best man and groomsmen will need to know where to be, when to be there and whether they’re required to make a toast, among other things. Get your fiancé to take charge of organizing the guys—you’ll still have a say in how they’re dressed on wedding day.

Follow this advice and you’ll be well on your way to getting your groom involved in wedding planning—without even really trying.

— Michael Arnot,
Founder of